How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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