there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize