It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
