He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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