playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
