Fuck appropriateness.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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