k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
