Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
