I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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