You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
