Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm both gender and math confused
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
