i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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