I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
