I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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