I heard we made out
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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