i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
