Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
