I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
"it" just moved
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
