I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
