accomplished twins. life is a go
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
