Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I need to calm my uterus...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
