He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
