At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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