I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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