So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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