Got a toothbrush?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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