I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
