So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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