it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
