If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
