His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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