For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize