I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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