He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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