I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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