C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
