i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
