don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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