My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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