We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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