my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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