Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
