we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
