he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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