My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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