Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
