i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I got inside last night via doggy door
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
