I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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