I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
