OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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