She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
