Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
