so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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