It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
