The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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