Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
