I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize