Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
